I could be doing homework right now. Marijuana has rendered me completely incapable of doing anything besides watch television and lay down.
I'm trying to enjoy lying down. 30 Rock is mad funny. I'm coming to the realization that I am sickeningly lazy.
Nov 5, 2009
what would have happened
I turned to marijuana because I was afraid I couldn't control alcohol.
I am not afraid of alcohol anymore.
Marijuana wastes my time.
Alcohol is a social lubricant. If you can control it, it can be an extremely good use of your time.
Time to start drinking again. That's the key to me quitting marijuana.
(I'm high right now. The countdown begins anew. I think I have a great point here, though. A dude in my Spanish class put the idea in my head last night. He was absolutely right.)
I am not afraid of alcohol anymore.
Marijuana wastes my time.
Alcohol is a social lubricant. If you can control it, it can be an extremely good use of your time.
Time to start drinking again. That's the key to me quitting marijuana.
(I'm high right now. The countdown begins anew. I think I have a great point here, though. A dude in my Spanish class put the idea in my head last night. He was absolutely right.)
Nov 4, 2009
clarification
I'm really not as much of a whiner as this blog might lead you to believe. I swear it.
great expectations, greater disappointments
This was supposed to be where I got clean.
I haven't smoked in two days and. . . five hours? Fifty-three hours total? That's good.
I am about to go buy a sack, which means, in turn, I am about to smoke. I am not entirely sure why--the urge struck me in the middle of my 6 p.m. class and got stronger during my 7:30 p.m. class. I made the call as soon as I got out.
The blog was supposed to help me fight those impulses. It has, a little bit. I am fifty-three hours clean, after all.
I wish there was someone I could talk to about this. I usually talk to my mother about my problems. My mother doesn't know I still toke. Well, I take that back. She might know that I toke. We have a don't-ask-don't-tell policy. She hasn't asked and I'm not gonna tell her about it.
I think this goes back to lowneliness. There's a specific girl in my 4:30 p.m. class who I specifically wanted to ask out because I know she's smart and sexy and I could use her help studying for our test on Monday. Never asked. I guess you could say I pussied out--my 'official' excuse is that I didn't isolate her and I didn't want to ask her (and risk rejection) in front of my classmates. My ego's pretty fragile.
Maybe I should go to NA. It'd be someone to talk to about these problems, if nothing else. Right now I'm just a lonely stoner.
"The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night." - Kid Cudi
I haven't smoked in two days and. . . five hours? Fifty-three hours total? That's good.
I am about to go buy a sack, which means, in turn, I am about to smoke. I am not entirely sure why--the urge struck me in the middle of my 6 p.m. class and got stronger during my 7:30 p.m. class. I made the call as soon as I got out.
The blog was supposed to help me fight those impulses. It has, a little bit. I am fifty-three hours clean, after all.
I wish there was someone I could talk to about this. I usually talk to my mother about my problems. My mother doesn't know I still toke. Well, I take that back. She might know that I toke. We have a don't-ask-don't-tell policy. She hasn't asked and I'm not gonna tell her about it.
I think this goes back to lowneliness. There's a specific girl in my 4:30 p.m. class who I specifically wanted to ask out because I know she's smart and sexy and I could use her help studying for our test on Monday. Never asked. I guess you could say I pussied out--my 'official' excuse is that I didn't isolate her and I didn't want to ask her (and risk rejection) in front of my classmates. My ego's pretty fragile.
Maybe I should go to NA. It'd be someone to talk to about these problems, if nothing else. Right now I'm just a lonely stoner.
"The lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night." - Kid Cudi
Nov 1, 2009
pu pu platter of my dreams
I eat a lot when I'm high. An unhealthy amount, most likely. Just saying.
home is where the high is
"Someone is looking up to you. Don't let that person down." - Fortune Cookie #1
"People in your surroundings will be more cooperative than usual." - Fortune Cookie #2
I am home and I am high. I ordered Chinese (munchies) and got those two fortune cookies in succession. It's the truth.
I could be great. People want me to be great. I let them down when I'm high, which is why I avoid them. If I'm not high, people will like me more.
It's that simple.
"People in your surroundings will be more cooperative than usual." - Fortune Cookie #2
I am home and I am high. I ordered Chinese (munchies) and got those two fortune cookies in succession. It's the truth.
I could be great. People want me to be great. I let them down when I'm high, which is why I avoid them. If I'm not high, people will like me more.
It's that simple.
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