Marijuana Abstinence Leads to Increased Alcohol Consumption
I started drinking about the same time I started smoking marijuana. The difference between the two, when I first started, was that everyone I knew drank, and nobody I knew toked. So, naturally, I drank. A lot.
I think everybody goes through a phase in their life in which they drink heavily. For some people, that phase only lasts one night; for others, it lasts a lifetime. Myself? I'm still not sure.
I've been practicing controlled drinking lately. No more than one drink in an hour; no more than three drinks in an evening; no more than fourteen drinks in a week. It's worked all right. I haven't exceeded my self-imposed limits in at least a month. In fact, I can't remember the last time I exceeded them. I know it's within the last six months, and I expect it to happen again, but at the moment I feel like I have complete control over my alcohol intake.
I wish there was a way to do the same thing with marijuana. There's no safe amount you can smoke, no recommended daily intake. Under the law, there's not even a grey area. Marijuana is bad. Stay away.
I don't believe that this is true. Not for a second. There's gotta be a scenario in which marijuana is good for you, just like there's situations where chocolate and wine are good for you. I imagine it's like my dad says: "You gotta know when to put the fork down." Except, in this case, it's a bong.
Oct 31, 2009
lownely
I'm feeling low. It's been about three and a half days since I last smoked, and the feelings I'm having right now are the exact ones I would usually smoke away.
I'm lonely. Why? Well, obviously because I am alone. But, you ask, why are you alone, Greenthumb? That's a much more difficult question to answer.
I've become so accustomed to people walking out of my life that I've stopped making the effort to keep them in my life. I've lost the ability to "close"--to get the necessary items (phone number, twitter name, whatever) to ensure a second rendezvous.
The convention has made me very aware of this. I've met a lot of people here. I've had some great conversations, I've learned things from my peers, and there's been at least half a dozen girls who were into me in one way or another. Yes, that's a fact. You'll have to trust me.
Every conversation ended with a goodbye and nothing else. No contact information of any sort. Not because they refused to give me a number, but because I simply didn't ask. Nice to know you! . . good-bye.
It's terrible. I'm aware. I usually blame my dating history for this otherwise unexplainable inability to close. I fall in love hard and fast. Most men do not. While I've never been able to prove this, I believe that most of the girls I've dated have found themselves put off by this quality. They recoil. They're not used to it and they don't want any part of it.
I used to be an every-night caller. Once I realized that that strategy wasn't working, I started waiting days between phone calls. Fuck 'em. Make 'em wait. I can see now that this is not a good way to get a girlfriend.
The last girl I was seriously interested in--we'll call her Weezy--might have been the perfect fit for me. Cute. Intelligent. Loved hip-hop. Great smile, nice butt, and a shocking amount of overlap in our interests. We even both text message the same way.
We went on one date. I was high. It was on this date that I found out she didn't smoke. We still had fun, but when I thought about calling her the next day. . . I decided to get high, instead. Same story, every day, for a week. Naturally, by the time I finally called her, her interest had waned. I was just a pothead.
I haven't had a serious girlfriend in two years. It's debatable how serious we actually were. I haven't had sex in a year. That sucks. I feel like a virgin again. I want to break the cycle. Thing is. . . every girl I've ever dates has been a toker. In fact, the girl I'm interested in right now is a toker. I don't want another stoned relationship. Those relationships fail.
The conclusion that I've come to is that I shouldn't date--shouldn't even TRY to date--until my addiction to marijuana is in check. It's an easy conclusion to come to when you're convinced that every girl you date will leave you heartbroken.
"If you use the same approach, you will get the same results." - Mystery in "The Game" by Neil Strauss
I'm lonely. Why? Well, obviously because I am alone. But, you ask, why are you alone, Greenthumb? That's a much more difficult question to answer.
I've become so accustomed to people walking out of my life that I've stopped making the effort to keep them in my life. I've lost the ability to "close"--to get the necessary items (phone number, twitter name, whatever) to ensure a second rendezvous.
The convention has made me very aware of this. I've met a lot of people here. I've had some great conversations, I've learned things from my peers, and there's been at least half a dozen girls who were into me in one way or another. Yes, that's a fact. You'll have to trust me.
Every conversation ended with a goodbye and nothing else. No contact information of any sort. Not because they refused to give me a number, but because I simply didn't ask. Nice to know you! . . good-bye.
It's terrible. I'm aware. I usually blame my dating history for this otherwise unexplainable inability to close. I fall in love hard and fast. Most men do not. While I've never been able to prove this, I believe that most of the girls I've dated have found themselves put off by this quality. They recoil. They're not used to it and they don't want any part of it.
I used to be an every-night caller. Once I realized that that strategy wasn't working, I started waiting days between phone calls. Fuck 'em. Make 'em wait. I can see now that this is not a good way to get a girlfriend.
The last girl I was seriously interested in--we'll call her Weezy--might have been the perfect fit for me. Cute. Intelligent. Loved hip-hop. Great smile, nice butt, and a shocking amount of overlap in our interests. We even both text message the same way.
We went on one date. I was high. It was on this date that I found out she didn't smoke. We still had fun, but when I thought about calling her the next day. . . I decided to get high, instead. Same story, every day, for a week. Naturally, by the time I finally called her, her interest had waned. I was just a pothead.
I haven't had a serious girlfriend in two years. It's debatable how serious we actually were. I haven't had sex in a year. That sucks. I feel like a virgin again. I want to break the cycle. Thing is. . . every girl I've ever dates has been a toker. In fact, the girl I'm interested in right now is a toker. I don't want another stoned relationship. Those relationships fail.
The conclusion that I've come to is that I shouldn't date--shouldn't even TRY to date--until my addiction to marijuana is in check. It's an easy conclusion to come to when you're convinced that every girl you date will leave you heartbroken.
"If you use the same approach, you will get the same results." - Mystery in "The Game" by Neil Strauss
success in a vacuum
Homeless dude offered me a joint last night. This is how it broke down:
BUM: Ay man, can I get money fo a beer? It's only a dollar fitty-five.
GTG: Yeah, sure.
BUM: 'Preciate it, man. You want a joint?
GTG: Ah. . . yeah, sure.
Walked with him for about twenty minutes. Never wound up getting the joint. I look at it as a blessing in disguise--on the one hand, good, I didn't smoke a joint. On the other hand, man, I really wanted that joint. Now that I'm talking about it, I'd like a joint right now, and in my heart of hearts I still don't see that desire as a bad thing.
Doc--one of the guys I'm at the convention with--dropped some religion on me last night. He said that our broken self is constantly at war with our better self. My broken self loves marijuana and wants more. My better self wants my broken self to stop being so fucking immature.
Three days clean.
BUM: Ay man, can I get money fo a beer? It's only a dollar fitty-five.
GTG: Yeah, sure.
BUM: 'Preciate it, man. You want a joint?
GTG: Ah. . . yeah, sure.
Walked with him for about twenty minutes. Never wound up getting the joint. I look at it as a blessing in disguise--on the one hand, good, I didn't smoke a joint. On the other hand, man, I really wanted that joint. Now that I'm talking about it, I'd like a joint right now, and in my heart of hearts I still don't see that desire as a bad thing.
Doc--one of the guys I'm at the convention with--dropped some religion on me last night. He said that our broken self is constantly at war with our better self. My broken self loves marijuana and wants more. My better self wants my broken self to stop being so fucking immature.
Three days clean.
Oct 30, 2009
forty-eight hours and running
I haven't smoked since 6:00 a.m. on Wednesday, which, for the more mathematical among us, is more than 48 hours. This is an accomplishment all by itself, but it comes with a catch.
I'm on vacation. Specifically, I'm at a conference.
I'm not on my home field, surrounded by people who are used to Greenthumb Green. Right now, I'm the guy on your basketball team who frustrates you because he doesn't perform well at home.
I feel more at ease right now, definitely. I haven't had much caffeine over the past 48, nor have I found myself being the wallflower I tend to be when I'm blazed. In fact, I've been downright outgoing the last two days.
Granted, it's not a challenge to meet new people at a conference. Conferences are perhaps the easiest place to let go of those things that keep us going at home--television, caffeine, marijuana.
The key is to take the confidence gained at the conference and apply it to your everyday life. It's not easy to change routines unless you get a bit of a head start. I'm flying home Sunday, which means I'll have a four-day head start. I know I'll want to hit the bong as soon as I touch down. I want to stop myself. . . I'm not convinced I'll be able to.
If a female treated me as badly as marijuana did, I'd drop that bitch in a heartbeat.
I'm on vacation. Specifically, I'm at a conference.
I'm not on my home field, surrounded by people who are used to Greenthumb Green. Right now, I'm the guy on your basketball team who frustrates you because he doesn't perform well at home.
I feel more at ease right now, definitely. I haven't had much caffeine over the past 48, nor have I found myself being the wallflower I tend to be when I'm blazed. In fact, I've been downright outgoing the last two days.
Granted, it's not a challenge to meet new people at a conference. Conferences are perhaps the easiest place to let go of those things that keep us going at home--television, caffeine, marijuana.
The key is to take the confidence gained at the conference and apply it to your everyday life. It's not easy to change routines unless you get a bit of a head start. I'm flying home Sunday, which means I'll have a four-day head start. I know I'll want to hit the bong as soon as I touch down. I want to stop myself. . . I'm not convinced I'll be able to.
If a female treated me as badly as marijuana did, I'd drop that bitch in a heartbeat.
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