cold weather blues

I love smoking in cold weather. There's no better feeling than standing in the middle of the woods, wearing sunglasses in December because the sun reflects off of the thin layer of snow covering the ground, hitting the bowl, passing it and immediately thrusting your hands in your pockets because they're already stiff from the cold.

We'd drive around and waste gas and smoke and be high and listen to music and it was all good, you know? I kept smoking, but I don't have that same feeling that it's all good anymore. Part of me feels like, if I never started smoking, I'd still have that feeling of invincibility. It's the same part of me that thinks that if I quit now, I might be able to get that invincible feeling back.

I believe that I can. It scares me because it won't be easy, but I believe I have the force of will to make it happen. More than that--I don't want to be the person who peaked at age seventeen.

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